Like Col. Steve Austin, Kevin VanDam is the “Six Million Dollar Man,” at least in B.A.S.S. earnings.
KVD proved he’s better, stronger, faster in winning Sunday’s Busch Beer Bassmaster Elite at Cayuga Lake. The $100,000 victory pushed his career earnings to $6,018,476.33, nearly double the next closest angler.
But that similarity with actor Lee Majors, who starred as the 1970s pop culture icon, passed VanDam entirely. As he pulled into his driveway Monday with another blue trophy, the first question posed was if he knew what he had in common with Majors.
“Lee Majors? Oh my gosh,” KVD said as he thought hard. “He used to be on a TV show, like Wonder Woman or something.”
Way wrong. (Maybe he meant “The Bionic Woman,” Austin’s fiancé and spinoff show.)
“I remember something,” KVD said. “He was Superman?”
Nope. But closer.
Does this ring a bell? “We can rebuild him. We can make him better, stronger … “
“Oh, the Six Million Dollar Man,” said VanDam, who was 7 when it first aired in 1974.
The next clue would have been the cheesy sound effects when the secret agent would use his bionic eye, right arm or legs. Nanananananana. How could anyone forget that?
One could see career earnings aren’t on VanDam’s radar; winning again this season after a 5-year drought was. So were numbers his wife, Sherry, offered up that coincided to their twin sons, Jackson and Nicholas. It’s been a big deal in the VanDam household that the 19-year-olds just graduated high school.
“This is a pretty special year for us,” he said. “We’ve been through a lot with them. They were born premature … They’ve grown up around the tournament trail. Their graduation was right after Toledo Bend and their party was the day before I left to go to New York.
“Sherry said, ‘How about this?’ This is my second win this year — it’s also my 22nd — and their birthdays are 2/22.”
Do-do-do-do, do-do-do-do.
That’s a tip of the cap to “The Twilight Zone,” which was produced by Rod Serling’s Cayuga Productions. The birthday numbers definitely were a neat coincidence, the opposite of the Zone’s creepiness. Anyway, KVD probably felt he needed another win to help pay his sons’ college tuitions.
Now how about this? Beyond the four Classic titles and seven AOYs, VanDam has earned a check in an astounding 235 of his 288 B.A.S.S. events, a success rate of 81.6 percent.
“I think it’s my 26th year, and I’ve only had 22 wins,” he said. “You can look back lots of time when you’re close. Like yesterday, when I weighed in, I didn’t expect to win. The key is if you’re close, you have potential on the final day — you’re going to have a good chance. If you’re not there, you’re not going to have a chance.”
Oh, and he has been. While saying he’s not a stat guy, KVD has put together an impressive list, including 15 second-place finishes and 17 thirds. That’s 54 tournaments, nearly 20 percent, when he’s finished in the top three.
So he just might have some bionic body parts that make him fish better. Well?
“No. Not yet,” he said.
So there’s a chance you might do that? And if so, what would you have replaced?
Pause. “I got nothing for that,” he said.
Lee Majors said he did 90 percent of his stunts, do you do all yours?
“I think so, yes.”
Nanananananana.
Ok, he’s playing along a little. The TV character would use his 20:1 zoom bionic eye to see great distances and credit it to eating lots of carrots. Kevin, you eat anything to give you super fishing powers?
“Uhhhh,” he said reaching to answer yet another stupid question. “We do try to eat healthy. We grill something about every night. Steak, chicken, pork. Vegetable medley, cauliflower, broccoli, carrots, onion and mushrooms. We steam ‘em in a tinfoil tent with a bit of olive oil. We had chicken kabobs the other night, with pineapples.”
Guess that makes up for Sherry’s lucky cookies, which reportedly have no calories or fat.
But you aren’t consumed by diet, eating super healthy stuff like Aaron Martens’ shakes?
“No, no, no,” he said.
In almost every one of the 99 episodes of the Six Million Dollar Man, which ran from 1973-78, Steve would say either “You bet,” or “You got it.” Now, you were seen Sunday on Bassmaster LIVE saying this, “How about that one right there? Yeah.” Is that your latest catchphrase?
“Yeah, I don’t know what (producer Mike) McKinnis was doing there,” he said.
KVD has been known to use these very catchy phrases in the past: “That’s a game-changer,” and “Lights out.”
Ok, in the old ABC show, they went slow-motion when Austin displayed his feats of strengths, like fighting a cyborg bigfoot (One guess to who played bigfoot. Answer below.) KVD, you ever catch a fish in slow motion?
“The Bassmaster LIVE slo-mo camera now makes sense,” said VanDam, really playing along now. “Wes (Miller) came out and filmed me on Day 3 with the slo-mo camera, and I did catch a 4-pounder, so maybe he got a jump.”
Nanananananana.
VanDam can’t really pinpoint what happened this season to end his drought, or why he even had one. Before winning on Toledo Bend in May, he went five years without a victory. He had three runner-up finishes in that time, but he endured talk that maybe he’d never win again. After a zero on Day 2 at Lake Wheeler, it’s like he’s been a man rebuilt … and on a mission.
“In my mind, I feel like I’ve been making pretty good decisions and I’m doing things the way I’m supposed to,” he said on stage Sunday. “I work really hard at it out there; it just hasn’t come together the last few years. I’ve had a couple rough events this year. Couple of the worst ones ever.
“As tough as it was and to put it all together, it feels like I stole this one. I’m shocked right now. This is my 26th season, and it never gets old. You never know when your last one’s going to be.”
Nanananananana.
Skeet Reese is second on the money list, about $3 million behind KVD. And there’s a bunch of other Elites who take the lead role from time to time, but VanDam has served notice he still commands top billing. After all, he is the Six Million Dollar Man.