db’s story of 2015: Mark Menendez

How being on the water rejuvenated Mark Menendez losing his wife Donna.

“My friend, feel like your gonna die…”

Dateline: 2015

“For when the One Great Scorer comes to mark against your name, he writes not that you won or lost, but how you played the game.”
~Grantland Rice

Do you really believe this is how it is supposed to be?

Really. Do you believe it?

Believe that we were created so that we would someday walk into a holiday party and open fire and kill other human beings.

Or, drive a car up on the sidewalk and run over other human beings.

Or blow up cafes, market places, birthday parties…

Do you really think the plan was to create a creature so special as to give it a soul, give it the ability to love, and then imbed a murderous side and sit back and watch just what the hell will happen.

I find it hard to believe that this is how it is supposed to be.

I do believe though that we are at the very beginning of human history, that we are the primitives that us, a thousand years from now, will shake their heads in disbelief over.

The finger of don’t act like this, will point our way.

We will be the poster child of what not to do, how not to act.

I know this to be the absolute truth because every once in awhile the Great Scorer sends us a messenger to show us how the game is supposed to be played.

The game, of life, played right.

And this year, the messenger sent my way was a close friend.

Elite angler … Mark Menendez.

His story this year is my 2015 Bassmaster Elite story of the year.

Here goes.

“…but you don’t…”

My Elite story of the year began with the very first Elite story I did this year way back at the Sabine River shindig.

Mark Menendez: “I don’t know if I can do this, db.”

“Do this,” was fish the Elite Series in 2015. We are sitting alone on a couch in a corner of a room, first event registration just ended, reality was starting to sink in.

I’m going to cut to the chase here in order of Mark’s stories:

Mark’s wife, Donna, is diagnosed with terminal cancer: Menndez fights to save wife

Mark takes a medical leave in 2013 to take care of Donna, who is also a good friend of mine.

And then, Donna passes away and I wrote this Open Letter to her children, Caroline & Max: An Open Letter to Caroline and Max Menendez

Mark asks for and gets a medical leave for the 2014 Elite season to take care of his children who just lost their mom, and for himself, who just lost the love of his life.

I know all of this as I sit on the couch and listen to what he says about facing his first season back, this 2015 Elite deal.

I know all of this as I lean over and lay my hand on his knee as tears roll down both or our cheeks: The eternal love of Mark & Donna Menendez

Then comes the season.

Ready.

Set.

Go.

“Being back on the water, db, the water rejuvenated me.”

“…you think that the world will stop…”

Comes, to Mark, the better us.

The us, we are supposed to be.

“db this year, beginning with that very first tournament back then, this year it took me 15 minutes to walk the parking lot to my boat because so many people would stop me and say such nice things…”

I’m not sure a chicken knows that another chicken is sad.

Not sure a cow wants the best for the cow standing next to it.

Not sure a snake lets another snake go first.

It is not that we walk on two legs, or have a thumb that lets us throw a inside fastball, or think about a tomorrow, or for some write complete sentences, those things alone don’t make us a “human.”

Add “empathy,” to all that, and we become, me and you.

“…it was the support of you and all the people out there, my fellow anglers, the people at B.A.S.S., the service crew, and especially the fans, it was all that support that allowed me to get into that boat and get back to doing what I love…”

A pause, then “…it was all the people that pushed me, that helped me, the people are why I’m where I’m at today.”

And that, I would think, people helping other people, is how it, us, was supposed to be.

“…but it won’t…”

Yeah, I know about Mark suing some dude, didn’t pay much attention to it to be truthful.

Same as Mark DQ’ing himself, didn’t read much about that either.

Things happen, I pay attention to some, not so much to others. I’m not a detail kind of guy.

My stories of the year are NEVER about the little things, more big picture stuff, suing someone and DQ’ing yourself are not little things for sure, but to me they are only one, or two strokes of a brush that paints the picture of the man.

“I try to always do the right thing db, even if it doesn’t happen to be the right thing for me personally. Suing was the right thing, the DQ was the right thing if you play this game honorably, but in the grand scheme, you know, you know…”

If you believe that eventually we will answer for our deeds you can’t believe a lawsuit, or a DQ, will come up, nor questions about cheating on taxes, or lying about your age.

Kicking the dog may be on the test.

Meanness too.

But empathy, empathy may lead the pop quiz. “…you know with Donna I did the right thing db, believe me, believe me I tried everything, I looked everywhere, I did everything I could to keep my Donna alive, to keep her from pain and suffering, everything humanly possible, I did, I tried db, I tried short of…”

A miracle.

And that’s not up to us.

“…and it’s the darnest thing I’ve known…”

“I hope the fans know that their bright faces, their smiles, their compassion can become key components in the angler’s life.”

Bright faces, smiles, compassion, are key components in the life of any human, not just anglers.

Again, probably, as it was supposed to be.

“Fishing takes me to a very nice place, a place of peace, of hope, you know, special.”

In 2012, Mark’s last full year on the tour before his leave he fished eight tourneys with an average finish of 49th place making five cuts.

In 2015 his first year back he fished nine tournaments with an average finish in 53rd place making six cuts.

It is that record this year.

It is the fact that not only did he take to the water, but that he competed and competed well…that Mark Menendez is my story of this year.

And then, there’s this, “db, you know…”

“…the sun comes up it’s another day…”

“…you know…all you have to do, have to be, maybe I guess, supposed to be, is nice. Just be nice.”

And that, I think, was the plan, for us.

Give them the only life found in our universe.

Put them on the only blue rock in space.

Give them plants, water, sky, sun, air, a dog who will lick their face, ice cream, thumbs to better hold hands, and oh yeah, a soul, give them all that.

And yet, yet.

We become us, may be fate we are born into the primitive side of our existence, the dinosaurs of our race, may be it’s all at this stage of our evolution that we can handle.

Up to the coming centuries to tweak this “free will” thing.

And yet, but yet, within us, around us, amongst us are those who do the right thing when quite possibly no thing was thought of us.

Amongst us, glimpses of how we were meant to be, how we can be.

Last year, Kevin and Kerry Short.

This year, Mark Menendez.

2016, TBD.

The plan for us, TBD.

“…and your heart still beats and you’ll see, hey I’m still breathing…”

On this, the 63rd Christmas of my life I ask the Great Scorer for:

A MacBook Pro that actually works.

A classic Corvette that works really fast.

And that Monday Dec. 14,2015, would last forever.

I want to take a moment here to give you one more example of why, or how I know there was a plan for us to be better than what we are, other than Kevin and Kerry Short, other than Mark Menendez I know of the plan because of…

…a big guy named, Uncle Buff.

Uncle Buff, Mike Armor for the record, was a fixture on the Elite tour, a family member of J Todd Tucker and the Tucker Family.

And one of my best friends out here.

We spent hundreds of days, of breakfasts, lunches, launches and weigh-ins together.

I learned empathy by his side.

I learned love of family by his side.

Last Thursday at around 4 p.m. he posted something on my Facebook page, shared a photo I think.

At 8 p.m. that night he died.

I didn’t see his post until after he was gone.

On Monday, Dec. 14, 2015 as I drove home I called Uncle Buff from the road, he was one of my normal keep me awake while I’m driving long distances phone calls.

We talked as I drove the entire length of Pennsylvania.

As it turns out this is the exact last thing I said to him as I entered New Jersey, “Got to go man, talk to you on Friday, see how you are doing, Love ya Buff.”

I still randomly break down thinking about it, as I know Mark does when he is alone and thinks of Donna.

My Christmas gift to you is simply this: There is a plan, believe it, and that plan is found in the last words I said to my good friend, Uncle Buff, “Love you.”

LOVE, is the only gift that matters.

LOVE…is the plan.

We can be given life, given the only blue rock in space, given dogs that lick our face, ice cream and triple mileage points, but…

But it is up to us to LOVE.

Merry Christmas, may your season, may your holiday be filled with LOVE.

May you be, a gift, to others.

“…take it from me these little victories, are all a heart needs.”
Little Victories
Blue Sky Riders

“Maybe Christmas, the Grinch thought, doesn’t come from a store.”
~Dr. Seuss

Cheers,
db