Here’s my beard.
Ain’t it weird?
Don’t be skeered,
Just a beard.
HOUSTON – George Carlin uttered those words long ago in his beard poem – now Gerald Swindle has taken the hairs from his chinny-chin-chin to do something neither weird nor scary. He and friend Luke Dunkin are using their beards to raise awareness for breast cancer, but they had some fun doing it.
Swindle, who will be fishing his 16th championship this week in the GEICO Bassmaster Classic presented by DICK’S Sporting Goods, has worked in concert with Dunkin, an FLW Tour and singer/songwriter.
“The whole deal was, Luke’s mom got cancer,” Swindle said. “It’s kind of Luke’s way of dealing with it, and to help him, I’m all in. And we thought let’s just have a little fun.”
That fun has been in promoting a bet that the first one to shave has to write check of $2,017 to benefit Breast Cancer Awareness. They’ve reached thousands and thousands of people as their feigned battle on social media has been facial follicle frivolity.
“But after all the jokes, I think there was a lot of awareness for breast cancer,” Swindle said. “Luke’s a friend, I wanted to help him. We knew she was going to lose her hair. It’s getting close. We’re fixing to do the same thing and shave for mom.”
Dunkin scored a big hit, messing with Swindle making the cover of Bassmaster Magazine (blasphemy, dude). That’s Dunkin and his beard on the right. He’s wondering if he or the jig wore it better.
Dunkin wrote about his gig on the magazine cover: “Got this in the mail today. So pumped for my buddy Gerald Swindle/GMAN. Also can’t believe he got me on the cover of Bassmaster. Thanks G! Beard game the strongest.”
Posting under #beardwar, Swindle added video a on Facebook with the following deadpanned line. “I just told Brandon Palaniuk he could sleep in it … at the Classic … with Tiffany … beard game strong.”
Then Dunkin posted a big score with the above photoshopped beauty of himself being on top of the presidential ticket. “Have the most Presidential beard. Gerald Swindle / GMAN‘s beard is clearly Vice President material.”
Swindle swung back with another beard game strong line: “Bigfoot liked 2 or 3 of my photos yesterday. Sasquatch invited me on Snapchat. Can you say that, Luke? I mean yetis are liking my photos.”
Now that beard has some muscle. Seems Dunkin was winning on the photoshop end, but Swindle’s verbal assaults would make Dunkin’s hair curl. It was the G-Man, after all.
Then Swindle scored a strong hit with a photoshop of his own, right after Trump took office and began signing presidential resolutions.
Dunkin would always hit back, but then Swindle scored the coup de grace, summoning the most famous beard in the outdoors, the Duck Dynasty patriarch. He began like he was reading fan mail.
“I am one of your biggest fans,” Swindle began his Facebook post. “You’re an OK fisherman, but your beard is absolutely awesome. Sincerely Phil Robertson, Duck Dynasty. PS Luke Dunkin’s beard sucks. I hope you all raise a lot of money for breast cancer awareness.”
Dunkin texted saying he had nothing to top that. Hats off, but not beards off … yet.
In the process, Swindle’s beard has required some grooming. He began growing it right after winning his second Toyota Angler of the Year title last September and admits to taking out a little grey with “Just for Men – color No. 30, light brown. Five minutes wash in, wash out.” Besides color, he does shave the area right under his bottom lip.
“That’s the look,” he said. “Luke and I have two different styles. His is the bushy, ospry eagle’s nest. Horrible. It looks like it’s just out of control. I went for the comb down.”
While Swindle’s wife, LeAnn, doesn’t mind the beard – it’s the first time he’s ever grown it this long – his mother is none too happy.
“LeAnn knows it’s a great cause, but my mom, she’s like, ‘Oh my God, I do not like that beard.’ They want you to shave it off,” he said.
Bassmaster emcee Dave Mercer offered another $2,017 to the cause if Swindle would shave it off on Bassmaster LIVE, but Swindle said he and Dunkin haven’t decided yet when the dirty deed will go down.
Stay tuned. Things could get hairy. Or it may all go down smoothlike.