Bass myths exploded!

If you've been bass fishing as long as I have and know as many bass fishermen as I do, there's no doubt you've heard more than your share of theories about why bass do this, that or something else. It's enough to make your head spin like a buzzbait blade hung from the antennae of a car as it barrels down the interstate. (We did that a lot in the '70s and '80s.)

Some of the theories are likely true, some can never be proved, and some are such absolute garbage that I hesitate to address them on the venerated pages of Nevertheless, in the spirit of angling education, I feel compelled to set the record straight on what I feel are some of the biggest myths surrounding our wonderful sport.

Without further ado ....

Myth #1: "Drink like a fish"

Show me someone who has an issue with alcohol, and I'll show you 10 people who have said he or she "drinks like a fish." Just where did fish get this terrible reputation for intemperance? Yes, I agree that any fish so farsighted as to strike something as unnatural looking as a spinnerbait must have been "over-served," but is that any reason to slander the entire fish population?

Bass likely got this unfortunate stigma from the sheer number of empties to be found scattered around our most popular waters. Bottles and cans are everywhere, but I think I've seen just as many Cokes and Pepsis as Miller Lites, and I always try to clean them up in hopes others won't get the wrong idea about the Micropterus crowd. When I was a kid, I thought Bass Ale was a special elixir for largemouths, but I've seen people drink it, too.

Do some fish drink to excess? Well of course they do. It's the only way we can explain how TV "fishing" host Charlie Moore ever caught a bass.

Myth #2: Outdoor writers only care about free gear and trips

This is simply not true. We also enjoy complementary adult beverages.

Myth #3: Kevin VanDam is a robot

Actually, I can neither confirm nor deny this one. His tournament record certainly indicates there might be some truth to it, and, though his chocolate chip cookies are delicious, I've heard they might be petroleum-based.

If pressed, I tend to believe that Kevin is some sort of cyborg — part robot and part human. After all, no human could cover water so fast, and no robot could come up with "Sexy Shad."

I hope this has been illuminating.

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