Fantasy 'Experts' League: Tennessee Triumph

Archive:

Overall scores after seven tournaments:

Zona: 7,697

Overstreet: 7,634

McKinnis: 7,363

Sanders: 6,693

I sat in front of my computer for about 10 minutes trying to come up with something clever or mean to write this week, but then I figured why water down something that’s already so pure.

This was a great week in the ‘Experts’ Fantasy Fishing League. The trash talk is getting more frequent, ridiculous and personal between our top two, Jerry McKinnis almost made a move, and Tommy Sanders beautifully described his current state.

We’ll begin with the trash talk, which started with this email from yours truly, which actually first started with a call from Zona early Monday morning after Kentucky Lake to warn me of the pending math that would put him in first:

–email start–

To whom it may concern,

It is with great sadness that I announce Mark Zona’s official occupancy of the first place position. Somewhere, a fairy lost its wings today.

The fate of everyone’s ears appears to rest on the shoulders of one James “Wack” Overstreet. We could be screwed.

Sincerely,

Commish

–email end–

Zona: “Team Mr. Woodcock will not comment on this e-mail, but he is well aware of the score.”

More Zona: “Trading Wirth for Hartley. It’s almost too easy…suckers!”

James “Wack” Overstreet: “Not so fast my friends…we got a long way to go, and the sucker ain’t got much of a lead considering the ‘KVD gravy train’ he’s been riding.

“Time to set up for the last three and send Zona packing back to the tundra for the winter. He will meet his demise in New York.”

More Wack (after making three trades noted below): “Big Dave Smith has had a resurgence and been coming on late in the season. The hotter it gets, the better Matt Reed fishes (and he makes top 12s in New York). And finally, the Lake Erie Killer…Jamie Fralick (fresh off a top 12 on Kentucky Lake).

“So yelp…that will give the ‘slothed toed, Italian donkey’ something to think about. Roll with it. I’m fixin’ to put a boot in Zona’s azzzzzz.”

Then, in response to my next email, Sanders most eloquently described his position.

–my email–

It’s that time again, I need you fantasy picks. Yeah, even you Mr. Sanders, despite the fact that you are so far out of the running all three other guys could Keri Strug their way to the finish and you wouldn’t sniff the bronze.

Thanks folks,

Commish

–end my email–

Sander’s beautiful response: “That’s right, I’m the corpse on the side of the Everest trail that makes all the high dollar clients feel uneasy. They want me to either decay or slide away. They can kiss my frozen ….”

“BTW–What the hell is a Keri Strug?”

And as the last promised piece of excitement, right before I sat down to write this, I was stopped in the hall by McKinnis, who hasn’t changed his roster all year and hasn’t changed his five-man team since Falcon.

Out of the blue, he says, “I want to change Kelly Jordon for Gary Klein.”

I was ecstatic — I’m not 100 percent sure why, but I was.

“Will that work with the points?” I asked.

“I don’t know, I think so,” he responded.

Wellllll, it doesn’t, and I am following secondary directions to leave his team alone. Excitement be damned.

Here are all the moves made between Kentucky and Tennessee:

Zona:

Add: Paul Hirosky

Drop: Byron Velvick

Add: Kevin Wirth

Drop: Charlie Hartley

Add: Rick Clunn

Drop: Some guy

Wack:

Drop: Todd Auten

Add: Dave Smith

Drop: Kevin Short

Add: Matt Reed

Drop: Jeff Kriet

Add: Timmy Horton

Drop: Mark Menendez

Add: Jami Fralick

And finally, here are the teams this week as they sent them to me:

Zona

KVD

Clunn

Morizo

Remitz

Hirosky 5.2

(5.2? Really? Is that necessary? How about if everyone rated you when they referred to you? “Yeah, this is Mark Zona 3.1 out of 10. He’s a little loud.”)

Wack

Horton

McClelland

Matt Reed

Dave Smith

Bobby Lane

McKinnis:

Mark Davis

Steve Kennedy

Michael Iaconelli

Gary Klein

Casey Ashley

Sanders

Martens

Lintner

Pace

Campbell

Rheem