I am nuts

Bassmaster Elite Series pro Charlie Hartley

I've been in Columbus enjoying Christmas with Tracey and friends. It's been a great experience. We don't spend as much time together as I would like, so this year has been special.

Santa brought Tracey a new coat, boots, hat and gloves. I got her a piece of artwork from Florida for the house when I was saltwater fishing down in Florida. It's a giant metal fish made to hang on the wall, and it's really pretty.

Believe it or not, she likes that kind of stuff. There are fish hanging all over our house. And the way she puts everything together, it looks really neat — not so much like a fish camp, but more like a classy display of art. She has a real talent for that sort of thing.

I'm the guy who really made out this holiday, though, when it comes to presents. Tracey bought me two sets of matching — they match each other and my truck — towels to put over my floor mats in the front of my truck. (I don't need anything for the back. I cover it in indoor-outdoor carpeting to keep everything fresh and new. My trade-ins are cherry.)

Two sets of towels are an absolute necessity. You have to have one set over the mats so they don't get dirty or scuffed when you get in and out of the truck and then you need another set to use when you're washing the first set. I keep the spare set in plastic bags so they don't get dirty before I use them.

Some of you guys might think I'm a little nuts about cleanliness, but I can't help it. It's a part of me I can't control. If I drove that truck without towels to protect the mats, I'd worry about it every minute. I'd be so nervous my armpits would be wet, and I might have an accident on the seat of the truck. Do I need to tell you what that would do to me?

By the time you read this, I'll be in Florida getting ready for the season. I had to organize my truck and sort through my lures and cull them down to something reasonable. That's harder than it sounds. There's always some scenario that I imagine that causes me to leave my old lures in the truck.

At the same time, I swapped out my tools and spare parts. I have a relatively new truck and a brand new boat. They require different tools and parts. It'd be ridiculous to be stranded someplace because I was too lazy to replace something.

I just finished rereading this, especially the part about the towels. It's frightening. Everything I said about them is true. I am nuts.

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