db: An open letter to Casey Ashley

If it is your time, you will be given, if it is not your time, and it does not come, that is not a punishment, that is a blessing.

(Lessons My Father Never Gave Me)

“Slow down, you crazy child…”

Dateline: Conversations Dad Never Had

“When I grow up, I want to be a little boy.”
Joseph Heller

Dear Casey:

My father, never told me, to hold gently, to hold tightly, to the little boy within me.

Rush not your child soul.

Rush not, the magic young eyes see.

Wisdom, is the wrapping that makes a child a man, and then back again.

Bring to this Classic lake, the young child you were who skipped rocks across its skin, bring to this Classic lake the freedom of a young child’s mind, bring to this Classic lake the hands that held yours, and who brought you here, Danny’s and Donna’s.

String your lines, and strum your guitar, listen to the music in your head, and not to any of us, we my young friend, wrap ourselves in facts, wrap ourselves in statistics, we take comfort in the tight bindings we wrap ourselves in.

We let the little boy, die inside.

We let, the magic die.

My father, never told me, to hold gently, to hold tightly, the magic.

“…where's the fire, what's the hurry about…”

My father, never told me, that my time will come, when it is time for it to come.

Take many moments this Classic weekend and bow your head, speak softly within and trust in who is listening, because my young friend, Casey, there is a plan, there is a plan out there for you, for me, for all of us, make peace with the fact though that you are not the planner.

Make peace that the planner, holds gently your soul.

My father, never told me, that we are given what we can handle when we can handle what we are given.

If it is your time, you will be given, if it is not your time, and it does not come, that is not a punishment, that is a blessing.

My father, never told me that. I wish he had, I would have had more peace in my life.

“…you better cool it off before you burn it out…”

My father, never told me, small, is big.

Throughout my career I would send my father photos of me holding awards and trophies, when I became a member of the National Academy of Television Arts & Sciences I sent a framed copy of the membership with it’s gold seal to dad.

After he died, when I had worked up the courage to go into his bedroom, I found none of the stuff I had sent him throughout the years, found all of it in a box in the rafters of the garage.

And yet, yet on his nightstand I found my bronzed baby shoes. And yet, yet, in the nightstand drawer next to his bed I found pretty much every note, every birthday, every Father’s Day card I had ever sent him.

To me, those things were just scribbled notes, to my father, they were, “Donnie.”

Of course, your name on a Bassmaster Classic banner that will hang in the rafters forever is a big deal.

My father, never told me though, that your life will be defined, by the small scribbled notes that you leave behind.

“…take the phone off the hook and disappear for a while…”

When we sat in your hotel room and talked you told me about the pressure of being the hometown boy, the child of the Classic lake, said “…pressure before I even throw a line…” said “…all I can do is all I can do…”  said “…will treat the tournament like a practice day and hope the stars line up.”

My father, never told me, the stars, the stars had already aligned.

This tournament, if you win, will make you a Bassmaster Classic Champion…and nothing else.

Nothing else.

It will make you money, I will make you famous, you will meet new people and new sponsors…and none of it will be in your last thoughts in life.

My father, never told me, that the most important things in life will be the last things you think of in life.

The stars have already aligned for you, the aligned stars are your father Danny, your mother, Donna, and the brightest star of all, your young son, Troy.

Troy, will never see the Bassmaster stage you stand on, will never see the trophy you may or may not hoist, Troy will only see, “Daddy,” Troy will not look to the big jumbotron screens, Troy will only look into your eyes.

My father, never told me, that it is only your giggling child that you lift above your head, that it is only your loved ones that you hold, that matter.

Grasp the trophy my friend, but hold tightly those you love, hold tightly those who love you.

Hold tightly the stars, in your life.

“…dream on, but don't imagine they'll all come true…”

My father, never told me, to dream my dream, not his.

All my dreams that never came true, were not my dreams at all, I dreamt the dream that others dreamt of me.

The secret to life, to happiness, to success lies in the dreams you dream for you.

The secret to all of this, is the voice you hear within.

Listen to your soul, it is the narrator of your life, listen to the soundtrack from the stars.

I hope you are the last man standing on the Bassmaster Classic stage, you might be, you might not, but the only real stage that matters, is this grand stage we all perform on called life.

Throughout all of this I have told you all the things my father never told me, every one of them very important, ask your father.

My father, never told me, a bunch.

My father, never told me this or that, never told me the ins or outs of this so called life.

My father, DID tell me one thing though, turns out, it was the last thing he ever told me, the last words he ever said to me as I left him standing in an elevator at the bottom of a Florida condo.

The last thing my father ever told me was simply this, “I love you.”

Dementia took my father from me, dementia never touched his love for me.

Casey Ashley, love is the only thing that matters.

Your legacy will be defined by the hugs you give, not by the hardware you get.

Love wins, love wins my friend.

Love life, love all the twists, all the turns, love the ups, love the downs, love the fact that in a completely barren solar system, we are the only ones ALIVE. 

Casey Ashley we in fact may be the only living thing on this blue rock in space that CAN love.

To love, to be loved, is the only win you need in life.  My father never told me that but I’m shouting it at you.

Love is the banner.

Love is the rafters.

Love is the trophy.

Take to the water this weekend and love every moment of it and the win will come.

The win awaits, and it is fueled by love.

It is not the weather.

It is not the cold.

It is not the wind.

It is not the ice.

It is LOVE, and the peace it brings within is what makes a winner.

Love is the answer to the questions bouncing around inside you.

Launch that boat like the man you are, fish like the child you were.

Grow young this weekend, son, grow young.

The winner of this tournament will be the one who lets the child within him, fish once again.

Let free that child.

Let free that love to fish.

Love awaits…

“…when will you realize Vienna waits for you.”
Vienna

Billy Joel

db

“All children are artists. The problem is how to remain artists once they grow up.”
Pablo Picasso